“…But the ghosts that we knew will flicker from view
And we’ll live a long life
So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light…”

Springtime is a time of new beginnings. Here in New England the sun comes out to warm the cold ground and pull the flowers from their dormant sleep. We, too, find ourselves cold and asleep, in the trance of the white winter; going through the motions, figuratively and literally; start the car, shovel the snow, don’t slip on the ice, put on your hat and gloves and boots, repeat.

On that first spring day when you can slide the windows down in your car, there is no better feeling. You play the music a little louder, maybe you even sing along. That first night you hear the peepers in the pond through the woods you are reminded that you are alive and time is going by very quickly. When the sunny and warm weather comes we are inspired to renew ourselves and our surroundings, but also reflect on the past. Maybe it’s the immediate past that comes to mind; we’re grateful the long winter is over. Or maybe it’s something in your distant memory that inspires you to forge ahead.

Small things often remind us of these “ghosts”. The ghosts can be people, things, memories, experiences; good or not-so-good. We needn’t be scared of them, but use them to make ourselves better. I want to share a personal experience so that you have a clearer picture of what I am talking about. Every April I patiently wait for the first day I can roll down the car windows, sing out loud, and hear the peepers as I drive. I feel a sense of renewal when I see the tiny flowers popping out of the soil. This new life reminds me of a few very special people in my life. On April 17th, 2011, my family lost an important person – my grandmother, Pauline. In the big picture it was a very unexpected death. In March I was talking to my Gram about what that summer’s signature cocktail was going to be and in April, far from home and family, in Oregon, I was grieving her death while trying to finish up my master’s degree. As I went through the motions of school, just trying to finish, I noticed the small beautiful things around me that reminded me that I was still alive; flowers, butterflies, the hot sun, or cool rain on my skin. I took the photo of the rainbow on Mother’s Day, just after my Gram had passed away. Another simple reminder that although she was gone, she was there with me in some way.

On April 17th my family also celebrates Alexia’s birthday. This is the silver lining; the reminder that from all sad things comes happy things. We get to celebrate her beautiful spirit while holding onto the incredible memories we have of our matriarch.

This post is not meant to be somber or depressing. It is meant to remind us all that the dark times in our lives will always give way to light ones. We must believe that this will happen and continue to forge ahead, allowing ghosts to be ghosts, and letting ourselves see all the life around us. I am thankful for the years I had with my grandmother and all that I learned from her. I am also thankful that I have many more years of celebrating Lexi, looking forward to all the hope that springtime brings, and the simple reminders that life is precious.

“Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven, where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.”  -Eskimo Legend

I’ve had a bit of writer’s block lately. For someone who loves to write, and is expected to write, it’s definitely a predicament. I’m not the kind of writer who actively searches for inspiration, I do much better work when the ideas come out of nowhere and strike me. This is exactly what happened to me last week. You know that the universe is telling you something when you hear similar sentiments from separate people on three different occasions.

In life there are those big things that you look forward to; things that have an impact on your life; they’re very significant. There are also the small things that happen each day, that most of the time you don’t really think twice about. But I find these small things sometimes mean the most.

I’m talking about the times where you ask someone how their day is going and it turns out they’ve had a really bad day and just talking about it for a few minutes seems to change their mood. Or when you send someone a quick email telling them that you miss them and they respond that they miss you too, or it made their day to receive your note. I experience these small things in the gym. I see and interact with many people on a daily basis. There are so many times when the little things boost me up; laughing with someone after they tell a joke or a funny story; or hearing a song that really gets me pumped up to workout or coach class; or talking to someone about food and clean eating.

These small things are what you take for granted on a daily basis, but mean the most in the big picture. Send someone a text message or give them a phone call just to say hello. Ask a friend how their day was and really listen to the answer. Send a big smile someone’s way from across the room.

The small things are where it’s at.

After a great night with friends, it’s time to buckle down and get back to work. I’m really excited since I’ve never done the Whole30 Program before. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no stranger to Paleo challenges, as you probably know. There’s not much going on this time of year besides some hard training, working hard to make The Fort the best it can be, and enjoying the winter.

For those who don’t know, the Whole30 is the 30-day elimination diet/lifestyle program created by Dallas and Melissa Hartwig and introduced in their book, It Starts With Food. If you haven’t read ISWF you should. They explain the whys and the hows simply and poignantly – it’s an easy read, but certainly an eye opener. If you’re a newbie to paleo, it’s a great place to start. Anyway, I signed up online for the Whole30 and chose today, January 1st, as my start date. (Thanks, DP, for encouraging me!) Each day I will receive an email with encouragement and some words about what I should expect for that day. Each night I report back whether I have stayed the course or slipped up. If I cheat I have to go back to the beginning. No, thanks, I just won’t cheat. I eat fairly strict paleo all the time, so only major modifications are:

– No coconut milk (from the carton) in my coffee
– No alcohol at all
– No paleo-fied treats
– No nuts or nut butters

I plan to post about my Whole30 experience here and there. I am looking forward to some detox and feeling great at the beginning of 2013. I hope you all had a fantastic New Year’s Eve with family and friends. Do something positive today and try to get outside for some fresh air – it’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

First of all, I hope you all enjoyed Christmas. It was a great time. I probably ate a few too many Christmas cookies, but that’s okay, I plan to bounce back quickly. This post is meant to shine some light on the parts of 2012 that will help me to make 2013 one of the best years ever. And I really do believe it will be one of my best years ever.

Where did 2012 go? Seriously, it’s a blur; a total flash in the pan. It was a great year; a welcomed relief from the doozy of a year that was my 2011. I want to do a little 2012 recap to reflect on some major moments and clear the way for 2013.

1) Starting the New Year off right! New Year’s Eve 2012 was one of the most fun NYE celebrations I’d had in a while. I’m really into staying low-key on NYE, and that’s what we decided to do last year. We invited a bunch of our amazing friends and family over to the house and we all wore ugly sweaters. That definitely spiced things up. It was just plain old fun and no stress. Cheers to ringing in the New Year in style.

2) Realizing that by doing something you love, you can be truly happy. We’ve all heard the chatter about how work doesn’t feel like work when you follow your passion. I’d have to agree for the most part. I LOVE what I do; I am passionate about it, but I won’t lie and say it’s not hard work. I think doing what you love just softens the blow. I am constantly thinking about the people I work with on a daily basis. Making my people happier, healthier, and better all around is my goal each day. I have realized that by doing what I love, work feels less like work and more like striving for satisfaction. Not just feeling like a hamster running on a wheel, but making genuine progress toward greatness all the time. It’s a really good feeling.

3) Becoming very comfortable in my own skin.
I have struggled with body image for the majority of my life. I became conscious of what I looked like while in middle school and went through phases where I was very fixated on this and even based my self-worth on whether or not I felt like I “looked good”. As a young women this was really hard to avoid. I think it’s even worse these days. Girls and women (and men too) are bombarded with images of an unattainable perfection that is unrealistic and in many cases, impossible. Makes me sad. Anyway, 2012 was a huge turning point for me. Staying committed to my training and my nutrition allows me to feel amazing on a daily basis. I surround myself with positive, healthy, like-minded people. These days I am much more concerned with my performance in the gym than what I look like. When you treat your body like the amazing machine it is; when you respect it, and feed it the fuel it wants to be fed, it responds in a really cool way. It performs how you want it to perform and it looks how you want it to look.

4) Letting go. When I let go of some things that I once considered to be staples in my life, I realized that I didn’t need them as much as I thought I did. I’m not going to go into a lot of detail here, because the concept is very simple. Evaluate your life and identify what’s not going right. If you’re not getting anything positive from your interactions with these things, people, foods etc, let them go. It’s much easier said than done, but once you get the guts to do it, you will feel better. Once you do this you will automatically have more capacity for the good stuff!

5) Push your comfort zone. I’m still working on this, and I think it’s something I will always need to work on, but I did some things in 2012 that pushed my comfort threshold. The first is that I began competing in CrossFit. It began with the CrossFit Open and has continued with numerous individual and partner local and regional competitions. I’m not the best, I usually finish somewhere in the middle of the pack, but it’s fun, challenging, and allows me to test all the hard work I put into my training. Another thing I did was participate in the Lurong Living Paleo Challenge. I really needed to get back on the clean eating train after a summer of fun and this 9-week challenge seemed like the perfect way to do that. The best part was the 43 other people from The Fort that joined in the effort. The challenge proved to be an amazing success. I am 100% happy that I remained committed and it left me feeling pretty dang good – mind, body, spirit. It seems that by moving toward the things that make us uncomfortable, we grow as humans and we become better by taking those leaps.

Resolutions…Goals…Intentions? I’m not a huge fan of making New Year’s resolutions, probably because most people just talk about them and never actually follow through. For me they lose their luster and never really amount to anything. I think a better way to follow through with a resolution is to make it into a specific, measurable, and realistic goal. Don’t make it super-lofty, put a time limit on it and create a plan for success. If you need help setting a goal I can surely help. If resolutions work for you, please, go for it! I definitely want to head into 2013 with an open mind and an intention to keep doing what I am doing since it’s working for me.

Cheers to 2013.