Category: Life

Patience, Grief and Trust

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The Journey
I believe that you need to look at your health and fitness as a journey. There will always be peaks and low points, and even plateaus. I also believe that the variance is what keeps you alive, learning, fighting for more, and making progress. If the journey was constantly the same you would begin to rest on your laurels, get bored, become complacent, and eventually stop.

Over the last two years my journey has changed drastically. I went from wanting to be competitive in CrossFit as a sport to not wanting to workout at all, all while experiencing pretty much everything in between. Each time I make may way through one of these transitional times in my journey I look back and appreciate all of the feelings and experiences that got me to where I am. The hard part is when you are actually in it and you feel stuck; like everything is going wrong. There are a few concepts that have helped me through.

Patience
Having patience with yourself is one of the most difficult things to do. We now live in a time of instant gratification. We are able to access anything and everything we want and need in a matter of seconds. When it comes to health and fitness, progress doesn’t come so quickly and we begin to judge ourselves, compare ourselves to others, and lose sight of what is really important. I have fallen victim to this many times. Limiting my social media and “unfollowing” accounts that got me feeling inadequate was pivotal in helping me overcome these judgmental feelings.

Grief
One concept that had a major impact on the last year of my life is grief. When I used to think about grieving death would be the only thing that came to mind. A good friend of mine helped me to see that we can grieve all kinds of things. I was grieving a version of myself that I was moving on from. Grieving the body I once had while trying to accept a new one; grieving for the status that athleticism made me feel; and grieving some of my personal identity as an athlete. It’s tough to let go, but we need to honor those feelings of sadness and grief in order to heal and go on with our lives as our authentic selves.

Trust
Another concept that has been critical in my journey is trust. This one was particularly surrounding food. For years I have been following some sort of diet. South Beach diet, low carb diet, Paleo diet, gluten-free diet, counting macros diet. I finally wanted to break free of all that and I have. I’ve been learning to eat again like when I was a kid. I’m talking about listening to my body’s signals that let me know that I am hungry and full as well as what I want to eat so that I am satisfied. Our bodies are amazing like that. We just have so much noise coming in that we forget how to listen to them. Learning to trust my own body again has been amazing and freeing!

Self-Care
Self care has been something that I struggle with because of who I am at my core (independent people pleaser) but also because sometimes I simply don’t make time to do it. Self care is different for everyone but usually consists of things that allow you to “fill your cup”; experience relaxation, joy, happiness, freedom, positive emotions, and radiant health. Examples of self-care for me would be getting enough sleep, being in nature, spending time with family and close friends, not forcing myself to exercise or obsessing over whether I got a workout in, and creating boundaries around my work life in order to create more peace at home.

I hope that by sharing my journey with you I can help you with your own. Let me know if I can help you in any way or if you’d like to know more about my experiences with patience, grief, trust, or self-care.

Cheers!

 

 

The Dark Corners

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“Be happy”…
“Stay positive”…
“Turn that frown upside down”.

We are told to be happy, stay positive, choose to have a positive attitude. But what about when we just feel really crappy?

Something I am learning is to actually feel and honor feelings, whatever they might be. It seems simple but I actually find it very difficult. Instead of avoiding uncomfortable feelings I am practicing actually feeling them and being okay with them.

Life is not always sunshine and chirping birds. Sometimes there are dark clouds and dark corners that you need to push yourself into in order to grow. I find that I learn a lot about myself, life in general, and becoming a better human when allow myself to feel. And yes, most of the time it’s happiness and positive vibes, but other times it’s feeling down, hopeless, and sad.

When the dark clouds do roll in it’s easy to judge yourself. “I have everything I need in the world; a wonderful life, partner, home, job, family…I should feel happy”. Yes, I do have all of those things and more and those things allow me to feel happiness, security, and fulfillment, but they do not make me immune to all of human feelings that I experience.

Something that has helped learn to navigate my emotions and feelings is visualizing different “spaces” for all of them. Just as we multitask in life, we learn to multitask with our feelings. If I am feeling down I allow myself to feel it and accept that it is there, but I know that I can also feel happiness at the same time and acknowledge it. If I create space for all of the feelings I don’t feel like I have to avoid or push any of them away.

It’s easier said than done and it takes A LOT of practice. I have discovered that I am very harsh with myself and very judgmental. But the first step is being aware and just that is a victory. Don’t fear the dark corners. They are there to help you learn and to make you a kinder, more accepting and balanced human being. Be good to yourself, allow yourself to feel what’s actually happening.

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The New Year 2017

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Before the New Year even comes we are bombarded with messages from diet, fitness and “health” companies usually trying to sell us a product or service that will make us smaller, tighter, and less fat than we were in the previous year.

It’s bullsh*t. Pardon my language, but I am just so sick of it. Ever single stinkin’ year it’s the same thing. The sad part is that it’s absolutely brilliant. At a time when we are feeling so guilty, not to mention bloated, from all the holiday treats and festivities, these companies come at us with ads and commentary about “New Year, New You”. It sucks.

As a health professional I even feel the pressure. I have practiced shutting these messages out for years and it helps me a ton mentally, but they are still there. Hearing and seeing these ads, whether on TV, radio, or in social media makes us feel like we are not good enough just as we are, like we need to be smaller or more fit, or that the extra body fat that we might have is unsightly and needs to go away…and fast!

Most of these products or programs cost money. Many people spend their money without giving it a second thought because they want to do whatever it takes to feel less guilty and bloated and they think they will be happy once those extra pounds are gone. The problem is that for true health and fitness there is no magic bullet, or challenge, or potion, or “fix”, that’s going to remedy it all. The truth, and the message we should be hearing, is that for true health and fitness we must do the work. 

You must eat a well-balanced, nutrient-rich assortment of foods. You must move your body; whether in a gym, outside, or in your home. You must have a support system and social network that encourages you. You must do this all consistently, making it your lifestyle and not something that’s optional or temporary.

That, my friends, is where the magic happens. It’s not with a pill or fancy shake. Those things can act as external motivators for some time and may in fact get you started, but the romance will wear off. If your desire to feel better and to take control of your health and wellness does not come from inside of you, you can almost guarantee it will be as temporary as the infomercial about stubborn belly fat.

For a long time I searched and searched for a way to get the perfect body, not realizing that there is no such thing. I have been through this journey and continue to learn about myself each and every day. I feel armed with the tools I need to hear all the noise around me but not let it get too far into my thoughts. I have practiced intuitive exercise and eating and I have found the magic there, along with a sense of health and well-being that took over 10 years to discover.

My wish for all of you in 2017 is that you find something that truly motivates you to want health for the body that you have right now. Whether it’s CrossFit, yoga, running, finding new healthy recipes to cook, or learning a new sport. If you’d like to chat with me more about health goals you might have or about where you are in you fitness journey I’d be thrilled to do so! Simply fill out the contact form below and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.

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Coach Ash and her pup, Chip!

 

The Holidays are Here!

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Guess what?! The holidays have arrived. I am going to let you in on my secrets for not completely losing control of you sh*t.

  1. Stay active. Go to the gym, go for a walk or run, snow shoe, ski, yoga class, whatever, just please continue to move your body regularly. This will keep your mood up, it will help you to expend some of the extra energy (calories) you are taking in, and it will help you to detoxify your systems.
  2. Drink enough to have fun but not enough to be sloppy. Unless you don’t drink alcohol at all you will be faced with the choice of having drinks at parties. You need to establish a boundary to that you are not annihilating yourself all the time. Maybe it’s a 2-drink limit and “wine only”. Or maybe you know that you need to eat a full meal and have some water BEFORE you have an adult beverage. Whatever it is, find that boundary you are comfortable with and stick to it. You will feel much better and still be able to have fun at parties. The best part is that you will have mild hangovers, if any.
  3. Honor your food sensitivities. If you have any food sensitives, aka things that “mess you up” in some way, avoid them. For example, I cannot do gluten. I break out in weird skin rashes and eczema, mostly near my face and also feel very inflamed in my joints. Maybe it’s dairy or refines sugar for you, but if you know that weird things happen when you eat it, just don’t! Indulge in other things or find a way to make your favorites gluten-free, or refined- sugar-free, etc. It’s just not worth feeling crappy. Also, overdoing it with foods that don’t agree with you will affect your ability to move your body and/or make it to the gym (Tip #1).

Please comment if you have tips of your own, I’d love to read about them!

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I want to be strong.

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The debate about CrossFit making women “bulky” rages on. Every time I hear this word I giggle a little and also get a bit annoyed because it is just such a loaded term. Like, what does “bulky” even mean? I love listening to others’ interpretations of what bulky means to them.

“Women get “bulky” when they do CrossFit”. I have my personal stance on this topic which I want to share with you.

I think that when people use the term bulky they are referring to mass added to the body (muscle and/or fat) after prolonged CrossFit participation, or, in other words, they get bigger. So…since women gain muscle very slowly, it’s safe to say that CrossFit will not make a woman bulky in a year’s time. If you’re lucky, you might gain a pound of muscle in a month – maybe. If you’re eating well, training appropriately, sleeping well, genetically capable, and limiting stress it’s possible.

As soon as a woman begins to appear more muscular than she once was she is automatically labeled as bulky by those around her who subscribe to the notion that women should be small, lean, dainty, and “toned”, but not muscular. Most of this mindset has been culturally and societal created and fostered by the media. We have been lead to believe that women should look a certain way and even value people based on their appearance. Many people believe that body fat equals laziness, lack of will power, unhealthy, low motivation, while leanness equals motivated, hardworking, healthy, beautiful. Many also look at well-muscled women and think (or say), “she looks like a man” while a thin, slight figure is more feminine and “natural”.

We see women who are professional CrossFitters. These are women who are training all the time, sponsored athletes, heading to the Regionals, and maybe even in the Games. They appear VERY muscular as a result of their training and dedication to their sport.  I don’t know about you, but if there was a realistic chance of me winning over a quarter of a million dollars and being that physically accomplished you’re f*cking right I would let my body take whatever shape it needed to!

Training at such a high level is not sustainable – the body cannot handle it forever and ever. So there is a point where these athletes will need to make a decision about how hard they are pushing. My thought is that if a person had the time, desire, and other resources needed to see how far they can push, then why would they not see how far they could go. #YOLO. It’s better than wondering for your whole life and wishing you’d pushed a little harder.

I totally see the other side of the picture too. Many women do not desire to look like CrossFit Games athletes and are concerned that by joining their local CF gym that this bulky look will soon be their destiny. As a CrossFit coach I try my best to assure women that this will not happen, but I still hear and see the fear on a regular basis. There is no perfect answer for everyone.

The truth is that every woman’s body is unique and different. After years of experience working with women I can give a good prediction, but I cannot see the future. I wish I could be there to create perfectly portioned meals and make sure enough water is being consumed and enough sleep is happening each night. But sadly, I cannot. It is mostly your responsibility to eat well most of the time, keep a sleeping routine that allows you to feel rested and recovered, and to drink enough water. I’m not going to tell you to not eat the cupcake, but I am also not going to tell you it’s okay to eat cupcakes every week if you want to be lean.

So yes, you might actually get “bulky” after YEARS of CrossFit. And by this I mean you might gain some hard-earned muscle. In my eyes this is not a bad thing because of my perspective and definition. I see women who gain a few pounds or whose weight remains the same but whose bodies morph into shapely, powerful machines. Their muscles are sculpted and visible. These women can lift weights and do handstands and pull-ups, but they can also go home and lift their children, their groceries, and the heavy boxes in the basement. I also see women who will not be frail and dependent on others in their older years of life. “Bulky” is in the eye of the beholder. I don’t equate bulky with bad, I see hard work, perseverance, sacrifice, and strength. But I get it, it’s not for everyone.

I’ve been on both sides. I spent years going to the gym trying to be smaller and thinner because I thought if I looked this way I would fit in with society’s ideals for women. I wanted thighs that didn’t touch and arms that were skinny.  I got them. But being thin didn’t make my life any better. I thought I would be happy, but being this way only left me feeling bad if I couldn’t sustain it. And I couldn’t because it’s not the natural shape my body wants to take. The other downside was that I felt weak. My clothes fit better, but I felt weak and so tired. I lived alone at the time, so feeling weak was not ideal while trying to manage household tasks.

I’ve also trained hard in CrossFit to see how far I could push my body. It was exhilarating. To finally front squat 200 pounds and finally get muscle ups and to be able to do 30 kipping pull ups unbroken was stuff I’d always dreamed of. I was so strong and capable and I felt so great in the gym. Outside of the gym I felt like I had too much muscle to be accepted in the “real world” but I didn’t really care because I knew what I was capable of and that outweighed the negatives. I also had to be very diligent with my nutrition so that I was appropriately fueling my body and my training.

Now I am somewhere in between and it feels good. Although I am not as strong, I still feel like I am able. My muscles are not as defined and I have more body fat. I don’t know if people look at me and consider me bulky and I don’t really care because I love the body I have. I care that I feel good, healthy, vibrant, and strong. I participate in CrossFit class three times per week. I also love to take a walk or jog 1-2 times per week if I can fit it in. Otherwise I stay active around the house and by doing yard work. Once the winter comes I will probably get back into yoga, skiing, and snowshoeing.

What I think is important to recognize is that each woman has a different desire for her body and endeavors. What I want may not be what you want. Whatever the goals may be, we need to support each other and build each other up.

Side note: If you feel you are getting bulky while doing CrossFit, please be honest and sit down to talk with a knowledgeable coach. Usually there are solutions and tweaks that can be made in your training and nutrition that will ease your mind and get you the results that you desire.

Photo credit: Vanessa Halliday

Photo credit: Vanessa Halliday

Sunshine

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Yesterday was an absolute 10. The sun was shining, not a cloud in the sky. A little breeze.

As I drove down main street I couldn’t help but notice all the colors: green, purple, burgundy, yellow, white, so bright and vivid against the clear blue sky. I felt a sense of happiness. THIS is what we wait for. Through the raw, dreary and drizzle-filled days, we slog through to get to Spring in New England. There’s nothing like it.

The animals were happy as well. I saw a Baltimore oriole, a huge hawk, new calfs, goslings with their parents, and lots of chickens around yards. I’m not sure if it was because I was out around town more than usual, but I just saw so much life – everywhere.

I have to think that it was the sunshine and the weather. It’s this force that comes out to recharge our batteries after the dark and cold winter. I was so thankful for that yesterday. Grateful, I guess, is the right word. Sometimes it takes a little sunshine to see the things you’ve been missing.

sunshine

Your bathing suit body: It’s where you’re at right now.

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It’s okay to accept where you are at right now. Right at this very moment in your life.

We are bombarded with messages about being better, being stronger, being happier…more positive, thinner, more muscular, smarter. The list could go on. There is also the inner voice, “If I could just get back to where I used to be, I’d be so happy” or “I’d feel so much better if I could lose this 15lbs.”

Have you ever thought about how it might be okay to just accept where you are at right this moment? Maybe even find happiness in this place?

I am beginning to believe that it’s not always about trying to push ourselves to be better, but more about trying to accept and believe that where we are right now is where we should be.

Take the summer season for example. “Bathing suit” Season if you will. If you are into health and fitness at all you understand the pervasive pressure of your body needing to be “bikini ready”. If you’re a guy it’s being able to be shirtless at the beach. I hear it all the time, “Summer’s coming, I want to feel good in my bathing suit.”

I began thinking about what that actually means. Now, I agree that exercising makes you feel good mentally and physically and staying active over the summer might make being more vulnerable and exposed in a bathing suit easier or less nerve-wracking. But why is there so much pressure? Are other people really judging us on how we look when we are half naked? I think that sometimes, yes, we are being judged. It’s unfortunate because people are not their bodies. People are their spirits, their intelligence, and souls, and senses humor.

I’ve been through it many times. Around April/May I begin to feel the pressure of bathing suit season. Is my body “ready”? Should I change up my diet or add in some kind of exercise to my routine to help tone my butt or belly? Ummmm, the last time I checked I could put my bathing suit on my body. If my bathing suit doesn’t fit I can buy a new one. Yes, I am ready.

It seems that it’s more of our own mental turmoil that we must endure if we feel like we are not “bathing suit” ready. This might be the perfect time to practice accepting our bodies for what they are at this very moment. This thought process might actually help us to relax and not stress so much about something we might not actually be able to control. Instead of dwelling on something that used to be (a body from a few years ago) or something that could be (a body we envision we “should” have) maybe it’s okay to say, “I am accepting of the body that I live in right now. I love my body and respect it, (perceived) flaws and all”. Maybe if we could be more compassionate and accepting we actually would be happier, etc.

The bathing suit season and bikini-ready body are manifestations of the diet and fitness industry. Most of the time these messages are marketing based. They aim at your insecurities and emotions in hopes that you will buy some kind of product. My guess is those messages are not going anywhere anytime soon. Let’s stand up to those messages and politely decline. “No, thank you, I am quite alright at the moment. I have a bikini, I will put it on when it’s sunny and I’m ready to go swimming”.

July 2011.

“I have a bikini and I will put it on when it’s sunny and I am ready to go swimming”. 

 

 

Put the “Shoulds” On the Shelf

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We all have things that we feel we “should” be doing: people we should see or call, places we should go, things to get checked off the list. I have always have a bad case of the “shoulds”. “I should be fitter, leaner, happier, smarter…” or “I should be working out; I should go for a run; I should be saving more money”. You might be able to relate. Lately I have been really trying to “shed the shoulds” (Thank you Jessica Tomlinson for this amazing saying).

I’ve been turning those “shoulds” into “should-nots” and saying “No” to my inner self, the self that keeps telling me that I should be able to do it all. No,  I actually cannot do it all and some things must be put on the shelf in order to maintain my health and mental well-being. I’ve surrendered to the fact that some days I am just too tired to work out and even when my mind tells me I should be training, I can kindly tell myself, “No”. I am in the midst of grieving my former body – the one that could do 20+ pull-ups and effortless bike sprints and 800m runs. My legs are losing their size and therefore cannot squat as much weight as they used to. I can still squat though, so I am grateful for that.

I’ve had to say no to events which I felt guilty about, I struggled to keep the shoulds from creeping in. I remind myself that it’s okay to say no. By saying no I am actually empowering myself to not always have to say yes, to not feel guilty if I say no, or feel like I should be saying yes. This process, and the ability to say no, are always a work in progress. It takes practice and confidence-building to do this.

When I first began writing this blog I wrote about how every person’s balance is different. Everyone has their own way of handling and viewing life. It takes a long time to find what balance is right. I feel like I am starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel that is the beginning of me finding my balance.

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My Athletic Journey

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I have been struggling lately. I am caught between the world where I am an athlete training for the next event – intensely focused on fueling my body correctly, concerned with getting the appropriate amount of sleep, intent on perusing my personal best with the barbell day in and day out – and the world where I barely touch a barbell, feel weak when I train, and feel my body getting soft in all the wrong places. I’m not complaining, just kind of stating where I’m at in my head space and trying to write through it as a way of figuring out where to go next.

I must apologize for this post being lengthy. It was written partly as therapy for me [smile!].

It all began back when I was about 15 years old. My Dad had some weights and equipment in our basement and a few body building guides. I asked him to show me how to lift some weights. I began by lifting small dumbbells and progressed to heavier ones. I was so intrigued by what the human body was capable of, but more than that, I loved how exercise made me feel. Through high school I went to a nearby fitness facility and worked out at home and ran during the summer.

When it came to time to go to college I knew I wanted to study the human body in some way. I chose Plymouth State University because I felt at home there, in the mountains, surrounded by natural beauty. It was so comforting. There I studied applied health and fitness which was part of the Health & Human Performance Department. Through experience-based learning I became an health and fitness connoisseur and soaked it all in. I was a personal trainer and heavily involved in the faculty fitness program offered by the University. I thrived.

College days. The was the descent down Mt Washington. Eating trail mix, of course.

College days. The was the descent down Mt Washington. Eating trail mix, of course.

Upon graduation in 2008 I was up in the air about what I wanted to do. I was just beginning to learn about CrossFit and that seemed interesting. There were 1 or 2 gyms in New Hampshire at that time and I remember talking to my Dad about “opening a CrossFit gym” and how cool that would be. I decided that my lack of business knowledge and real-world experience were limiters and I took a job at PSU instead. I taught for a year in the HHP department and continued my own fitness pursuits. I took up yoga, continued to lift free weights, and walked and ran a lot.

Then I moved to Oregon to get my masters degree. While I was out there I joined a CrossFit gym. My brother Kyle was back on the east coast starting his own CrossFit gym as a business pursuit. I became obsessed with training, nutrition, and everything in between. I tried to link all of my grad school research to physical activity, exercise, and nutrition in some way. It all came together. When I returned to New Hampshire I was on board at The Fort CrossFit, full force. That was 2011.

Fast forward a few years. After dabbling in a few local competitions here and there I decided I really wanted more from myself as an athlete. I knew I was capable of more. I asked Kyle to begin programming for me in preparation for a competition in December and then the 2015 CF Open. I had some weaknesses and holes in my performance that needed to be worked on. Upper body pulling and pushing were the most glaring weaknesses. I trained alone from September 2014 through March 2015, working on making myself better.

December 2014 in Vermont.

December 2014 in Vermont.

I learned a lot during those months. I got super strong and fit. I focused on nutrition and sleep and I got lean and slept like a rock. During the 2015 Open I improved by 444 spots in the northeast region and finished in the top 600 women. It felt amazing, but there were definite trade offs. My social life definitely suffered a bit. As someone who loves enjoying a margarita with friends, this was something that had to be put on the back burner the majority of the time. I also began to have a nagging left shoulder and wrist that I (mostly) chose to ignore because I didn’t want it to mess up my training. Looking back in all of this I realize that I created an illusion of health. Outwardly it would appear that I was living a very healthy lifestyle, but there were many aspects of my health the were suffering. It would just take a while for me to figure that out.

 

Open Workout 15.1

Open Workout 15.1

Eventually my wrist just broke down. I ended up with tendinitis and soft tissue damage that took months to heal. I could not grip a barbell, dumbbell, pull up bar or ring for about two solid months. My inability to train at a high level got to me mentally and I ended up feeling bummed out about life in general. I was able to begin a dumbbell/bodyweight program midway through the summer which helped to get me feeling good about training again, but it wasn’t the same. It was like the fire had burned out. Additionally, the intensity and stress of the previous months’ training caught up with me and I began to feel broken down emotionally. In some ways I felt like I was losing my identity. If I wasn’t a CrossFit athlete, what was I?

I tried to get back into the groove of training hard after signing up for a competition in VT that I’d done the previous 3 years. I jumped back into an intense training program, yet found myself disliking training and literally crying when it got hard. I felt like a complete failure. I felt like I was letting down my coach, people who looked up to me, and myself. I withdrew from the VT competition and stopped training so intensely. I was desperately trying to find the fun in training again, but I was even struggling in group classes. I was also feeling fatigued pretty much all the time, I was beginning to have trouble sleeping, and I got sick about 5 times from November to December.

Around December 2015 I finally decided to just stop. STOP. I needed a break. Like a real break. Looking back, it had been about 5 solid years of CrossFit without taking time off except for built in rest days and a week here and there. I also realized that I tend to be very hard on myself. I never follow the rule I give others…”Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good.” I am a good athlete, I am a good friend, sister, daughter, girlfriend. The amount of weight I squat or clean and jerk does not determine how useful I am or my self-worth or the amount of knowledge I own.

O2X Challenge at Loon Mountain. October 2015.

O2X Challenge at Loon Mountain. So challenging and so fun. October 2015.

So now it’s April 2016. I did not sign up for the CrossFit open this year and I have done about 3 intense workouts in the gym since Christmas. I have been enjoying yoga once or twice each week and trying to get outside more to be in nature. After about a month to 6 weeks of not training the intense feelings of stress and doom began to subside. I started to relax a little and even took a long weekend away in North Conway, one of my favorite places in the whole world.

I am definitely grieving a little bit for the “old me” – the me who could crush sets of 20+ pull ups, squat clean a heavy barbell smoothly, and sprint on the assault bike with ease. I am trying to remain focused on the positive and the goal of healing my body. At this moment in time I really don’t have the desire to train at a high level. I am happy if I get in 30 minutes of biking  and can keep a smile on my face.

As a fitness and nutrition coach it’s difficult to admit that the lifestyle is not always rainbows, heavy squats, butterflies, and perfectly-portioned food. I think the the perception of people in this business is that we all have our shit together when it comes to our own personal fitness and nutrition. While I have a ton of knowledge, I definitely do not have it all together all of the time. At the moment  my life is changing. Although I value fitness and exercise tremendously, training as hard as I can is just not in my deck of cards at the moment.

I’ve been working with a few helpful coaches of my own, women I admire and look to for advice and knowledge. With their guidance I am discovering ways to heal my body, to feel fulfilled, and to respect the process I am going through. As a coach it feels so nice to be coached! It feels good to let go of the control and let someone else guide me at the moment. I couldn’t do it without these influential women.

I believe that these changes are all part of some larger purpose and there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. I believe that I am not the only one who goes through changes and struggles like this. I think that I will be able to help others on their journey and I am really looking forward to it! I also believe that I will be back in action at some point; I want to feel that desire for lifting heavy and getting sweaty and having fun. It will happen, it might just take a little while.

What has your athletic journey looked like? Have you struggled with changes like these?

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Just do.

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There are times in life, or events you go through, that remind you of how precious life is. At the end of the day it comes down to the people you love, the experiences that give you joy, and work that keeps you learning and wanting more. It can be challenging to remember this on a daily basis; we get caught up in the mundane motions of our schedules and obligations.  That is, until we are sobered by those events in life that bring us back to reality.

One of my goals for this new year is to have more of those experiences that bring me joy. To do more things, small or grand, that make me smile, not just in the summer time, but during what remains of this winter, and then spring and fall. Just do.

What are things in life that bring you joy?

precious life