Category: CrossFit

Patience, Grief and Trust

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The Journey
I believe that you need to look at your health and fitness as a journey. There will always be peaks and low points, and even plateaus. I also believe that the variance is what keeps you alive, learning, fighting for more, and making progress. If the journey was constantly the same you would begin to rest on your laurels, get bored, become complacent, and eventually stop.

Over the last two years my journey has changed drastically. I went from wanting to be competitive in CrossFit as a sport to not wanting to workout at all, all while experiencing pretty much everything in between. Each time I make may way through one of these transitional times in my journey I look back and appreciate all of the feelings and experiences that got me to where I am. The hard part is when you are actually in it and you feel stuck; like everything is going wrong. There are a few concepts that have helped me through.

Patience
Having patience with yourself is one of the most difficult things to do. We now live in a time of instant gratification. We are able to access anything and everything we want and need in a matter of seconds. When it comes to health and fitness, progress doesn’t come so quickly and we begin to judge ourselves, compare ourselves to others, and lose sight of what is really important. I have fallen victim to this many times. Limiting my social media and “unfollowing” accounts that got me feeling inadequate was pivotal in helping me overcome these judgmental feelings.

Grief
One concept that had a major impact on the last year of my life is grief. When I used to think about grieving death would be the only thing that came to mind. A good friend of mine helped me to see that we can grieve all kinds of things. I was grieving a version of myself that I was moving on from. Grieving the body I once had while trying to accept a new one; grieving for the status that athleticism made me feel; and grieving some of my personal identity as an athlete. It’s tough to let go, but we need to honor those feelings of sadness and grief in order to heal and go on with our lives as our authentic selves.

Trust
Another concept that has been critical in my journey is trust. This one was particularly surrounding food. For years I have been following some sort of diet. South Beach diet, low carb diet, Paleo diet, gluten-free diet, counting macros diet. I finally wanted to break free of all that and I have. I’ve been learning to eat again like when I was a kid. I’m talking about listening to my body’s signals that let me know that I am hungry and full as well as what I want to eat so that I am satisfied. Our bodies are amazing like that. We just have so much noise coming in that we forget how to listen to them. Learning to trust my own body again has been amazing and freeing!

Self-Care
Self care has been something that I struggle with because of who I am at my core (independent people pleaser) but also because sometimes I simply don’t make time to do it. Self care is different for everyone but usually consists of things that allow you to “fill your cup”; experience relaxation, joy, happiness, freedom, positive emotions, and radiant health. Examples of self-care for me would be getting enough sleep, being in nature, spending time with family and close friends, not forcing myself to exercise or obsessing over whether I got a workout in, and creating boundaries around my work life in order to create more peace at home.

I hope that by sharing my journey with you I can help you with your own. Let me know if I can help you in any way or if you’d like to know more about my experiences with patience, grief, trust, or self-care.

Cheers!

 

 

I want to be strong.

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The debate about CrossFit making women “bulky” rages on. Every time I hear this word I giggle a little and also get a bit annoyed because it is just such a loaded term. Like, what does “bulky” even mean? I love listening to others’ interpretations of what bulky means to them.

“Women get “bulky” when they do CrossFit”. I have my personal stance on this topic which I want to share with you.

I think that when people use the term bulky they are referring to mass added to the body (muscle and/or fat) after prolonged CrossFit participation, or, in other words, they get bigger. So…since women gain muscle very slowly, it’s safe to say that CrossFit will not make a woman bulky in a year’s time. If you’re lucky, you might gain a pound of muscle in a month – maybe. If you’re eating well, training appropriately, sleeping well, genetically capable, and limiting stress it’s possible.

As soon as a woman begins to appear more muscular than she once was she is automatically labeled as bulky by those around her who subscribe to the notion that women should be small, lean, dainty, and “toned”, but not muscular. Most of this mindset has been culturally and societal created and fostered by the media. We have been lead to believe that women should look a certain way and even value people based on their appearance. Many people believe that body fat equals laziness, lack of will power, unhealthy, low motivation, while leanness equals motivated, hardworking, healthy, beautiful. Many also look at well-muscled women and think (or say), “she looks like a man” while a thin, slight figure is more feminine and “natural”.

We see women who are professional CrossFitters. These are women who are training all the time, sponsored athletes, heading to the Regionals, and maybe even in the Games. They appear VERY muscular as a result of their training and dedication to their sport.  I don’t know about you, but if there was a realistic chance of me winning over a quarter of a million dollars and being that physically accomplished you’re f*cking right I would let my body take whatever shape it needed to!

Training at such a high level is not sustainable – the body cannot handle it forever and ever. So there is a point where these athletes will need to make a decision about how hard they are pushing. My thought is that if a person had the time, desire, and other resources needed to see how far they can push, then why would they not see how far they could go. #YOLO. It’s better than wondering for your whole life and wishing you’d pushed a little harder.

I totally see the other side of the picture too. Many women do not desire to look like CrossFit Games athletes and are concerned that by joining their local CF gym that this bulky look will soon be their destiny. As a CrossFit coach I try my best to assure women that this will not happen, but I still hear and see the fear on a regular basis. There is no perfect answer for everyone.

The truth is that every woman’s body is unique and different. After years of experience working with women I can give a good prediction, but I cannot see the future. I wish I could be there to create perfectly portioned meals and make sure enough water is being consumed and enough sleep is happening each night. But sadly, I cannot. It is mostly your responsibility to eat well most of the time, keep a sleeping routine that allows you to feel rested and recovered, and to drink enough water. I’m not going to tell you to not eat the cupcake, but I am also not going to tell you it’s okay to eat cupcakes every week if you want to be lean.

So yes, you might actually get “bulky” after YEARS of CrossFit. And by this I mean you might gain some hard-earned muscle. In my eyes this is not a bad thing because of my perspective and definition. I see women who gain a few pounds or whose weight remains the same but whose bodies morph into shapely, powerful machines. Their muscles are sculpted and visible. These women can lift weights and do handstands and pull-ups, but they can also go home and lift their children, their groceries, and the heavy boxes in the basement. I also see women who will not be frail and dependent on others in their older years of life. “Bulky” is in the eye of the beholder. I don’t equate bulky with bad, I see hard work, perseverance, sacrifice, and strength. But I get it, it’s not for everyone.

I’ve been on both sides. I spent years going to the gym trying to be smaller and thinner because I thought if I looked this way I would fit in with society’s ideals for women. I wanted thighs that didn’t touch and arms that were skinny.  I got them. But being thin didn’t make my life any better. I thought I would be happy, but being this way only left me feeling bad if I couldn’t sustain it. And I couldn’t because it’s not the natural shape my body wants to take. The other downside was that I felt weak. My clothes fit better, but I felt weak and so tired. I lived alone at the time, so feeling weak was not ideal while trying to manage household tasks.

I’ve also trained hard in CrossFit to see how far I could push my body. It was exhilarating. To finally front squat 200 pounds and finally get muscle ups and to be able to do 30 kipping pull ups unbroken was stuff I’d always dreamed of. I was so strong and capable and I felt so great in the gym. Outside of the gym I felt like I had too much muscle to be accepted in the “real world” but I didn’t really care because I knew what I was capable of and that outweighed the negatives. I also had to be very diligent with my nutrition so that I was appropriately fueling my body and my training.

Now I am somewhere in between and it feels good. Although I am not as strong, I still feel like I am able. My muscles are not as defined and I have more body fat. I don’t know if people look at me and consider me bulky and I don’t really care because I love the body I have. I care that I feel good, healthy, vibrant, and strong. I participate in CrossFit class three times per week. I also love to take a walk or jog 1-2 times per week if I can fit it in. Otherwise I stay active around the house and by doing yard work. Once the winter comes I will probably get back into yoga, skiing, and snowshoeing.

What I think is important to recognize is that each woman has a different desire for her body and endeavors. What I want may not be what you want. Whatever the goals may be, we need to support each other and build each other up.

Side note: If you feel you are getting bulky while doing CrossFit, please be honest and sit down to talk with a knowledgeable coach. Usually there are solutions and tweaks that can be made in your training and nutrition that will ease your mind and get you the results that you desire.

Photo credit: Vanessa Halliday

Photo credit: Vanessa Halliday

My Athletic Journey

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I have been struggling lately. I am caught between the world where I am an athlete training for the next event – intensely focused on fueling my body correctly, concerned with getting the appropriate amount of sleep, intent on perusing my personal best with the barbell day in and day out – and the world where I barely touch a barbell, feel weak when I train, and feel my body getting soft in all the wrong places. I’m not complaining, just kind of stating where I’m at in my head space and trying to write through it as a way of figuring out where to go next.

I must apologize for this post being lengthy. It was written partly as therapy for me [smile!].

It all began back when I was about 15 years old. My Dad had some weights and equipment in our basement and a few body building guides. I asked him to show me how to lift some weights. I began by lifting small dumbbells and progressed to heavier ones. I was so intrigued by what the human body was capable of, but more than that, I loved how exercise made me feel. Through high school I went to a nearby fitness facility and worked out at home and ran during the summer.

When it came to time to go to college I knew I wanted to study the human body in some way. I chose Plymouth State University because I felt at home there, in the mountains, surrounded by natural beauty. It was so comforting. There I studied applied health and fitness which was part of the Health & Human Performance Department. Through experience-based learning I became an health and fitness connoisseur and soaked it all in. I was a personal trainer and heavily involved in the faculty fitness program offered by the University. I thrived.

College days. The was the descent down Mt Washington. Eating trail mix, of course.

College days. The was the descent down Mt Washington. Eating trail mix, of course.

Upon graduation in 2008 I was up in the air about what I wanted to do. I was just beginning to learn about CrossFit and that seemed interesting. There were 1 or 2 gyms in New Hampshire at that time and I remember talking to my Dad about “opening a CrossFit gym” and how cool that would be. I decided that my lack of business knowledge and real-world experience were limiters and I took a job at PSU instead. I taught for a year in the HHP department and continued my own fitness pursuits. I took up yoga, continued to lift free weights, and walked and ran a lot.

Then I moved to Oregon to get my masters degree. While I was out there I joined a CrossFit gym. My brother Kyle was back on the east coast starting his own CrossFit gym as a business pursuit. I became obsessed with training, nutrition, and everything in between. I tried to link all of my grad school research to physical activity, exercise, and nutrition in some way. It all came together. When I returned to New Hampshire I was on board at The Fort CrossFit, full force. That was 2011.

Fast forward a few years. After dabbling in a few local competitions here and there I decided I really wanted more from myself as an athlete. I knew I was capable of more. I asked Kyle to begin programming for me in preparation for a competition in December and then the 2015 CF Open. I had some weaknesses and holes in my performance that needed to be worked on. Upper body pulling and pushing were the most glaring weaknesses. I trained alone from September 2014 through March 2015, working on making myself better.

December 2014 in Vermont.

December 2014 in Vermont.

I learned a lot during those months. I got super strong and fit. I focused on nutrition and sleep and I got lean and slept like a rock. During the 2015 Open I improved by 444 spots in the northeast region and finished in the top 600 women. It felt amazing, but there were definite trade offs. My social life definitely suffered a bit. As someone who loves enjoying a margarita with friends, this was something that had to be put on the back burner the majority of the time. I also began to have a nagging left shoulder and wrist that I (mostly) chose to ignore because I didn’t want it to mess up my training. Looking back in all of this I realize that I created an illusion of health. Outwardly it would appear that I was living a very healthy lifestyle, but there were many aspects of my health the were suffering. It would just take a while for me to figure that out.

 

Open Workout 15.1

Open Workout 15.1

Eventually my wrist just broke down. I ended up with tendinitis and soft tissue damage that took months to heal. I could not grip a barbell, dumbbell, pull up bar or ring for about two solid months. My inability to train at a high level got to me mentally and I ended up feeling bummed out about life in general. I was able to begin a dumbbell/bodyweight program midway through the summer which helped to get me feeling good about training again, but it wasn’t the same. It was like the fire had burned out. Additionally, the intensity and stress of the previous months’ training caught up with me and I began to feel broken down emotionally. In some ways I felt like I was losing my identity. If I wasn’t a CrossFit athlete, what was I?

I tried to get back into the groove of training hard after signing up for a competition in VT that I’d done the previous 3 years. I jumped back into an intense training program, yet found myself disliking training and literally crying when it got hard. I felt like a complete failure. I felt like I was letting down my coach, people who looked up to me, and myself. I withdrew from the VT competition and stopped training so intensely. I was desperately trying to find the fun in training again, but I was even struggling in group classes. I was also feeling fatigued pretty much all the time, I was beginning to have trouble sleeping, and I got sick about 5 times from November to December.

Around December 2015 I finally decided to just stop. STOP. I needed a break. Like a real break. Looking back, it had been about 5 solid years of CrossFit without taking time off except for built in rest days and a week here and there. I also realized that I tend to be very hard on myself. I never follow the rule I give others…”Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good.” I am a good athlete, I am a good friend, sister, daughter, girlfriend. The amount of weight I squat or clean and jerk does not determine how useful I am or my self-worth or the amount of knowledge I own.

O2X Challenge at Loon Mountain. October 2015.

O2X Challenge at Loon Mountain. So challenging and so fun. October 2015.

So now it’s April 2016. I did not sign up for the CrossFit open this year and I have done about 3 intense workouts in the gym since Christmas. I have been enjoying yoga once or twice each week and trying to get outside more to be in nature. After about a month to 6 weeks of not training the intense feelings of stress and doom began to subside. I started to relax a little and even took a long weekend away in North Conway, one of my favorite places in the whole world.

I am definitely grieving a little bit for the “old me” – the me who could crush sets of 20+ pull ups, squat clean a heavy barbell smoothly, and sprint on the assault bike with ease. I am trying to remain focused on the positive and the goal of healing my body. At this moment in time I really don’t have the desire to train at a high level. I am happy if I get in 30 minutes of biking  and can keep a smile on my face.

As a fitness and nutrition coach it’s difficult to admit that the lifestyle is not always rainbows, heavy squats, butterflies, and perfectly-portioned food. I think the the perception of people in this business is that we all have our shit together when it comes to our own personal fitness and nutrition. While I have a ton of knowledge, I definitely do not have it all together all of the time. At the moment  my life is changing. Although I value fitness and exercise tremendously, training as hard as I can is just not in my deck of cards at the moment.

I’ve been working with a few helpful coaches of my own, women I admire and look to for advice and knowledge. With their guidance I am discovering ways to heal my body, to feel fulfilled, and to respect the process I am going through. As a coach it feels so nice to be coached! It feels good to let go of the control and let someone else guide me at the moment. I couldn’t do it without these influential women.

I believe that these changes are all part of some larger purpose and there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. I believe that I am not the only one who goes through changes and struggles like this. I think that I will be able to help others on their journey and I am really looking forward to it! I also believe that I will be back in action at some point; I want to feel that desire for lifting heavy and getting sweaty and having fun. It will happen, it might just take a little while.

What has your athletic journey looked like? Have you struggled with changes like these?

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Getting Real About Nutrition and Exercise

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Holy Donuts from the Holy Donut in Portland, ME. These are the bomb.

Holy Donuts from the Holy Donut in Portland, ME. These are the bomb. A treat for me a couple times a year!

It’s January 2016. The start of a brand new year. During the last week or two many of us have given some sort of thought to our health and weight. Maybe you’ve thought about getting healthier in general; eating better, sleeping more, stessing less. Or maybe you’ve thought about what it will take to lose some weight. These days there is a lot of conflicting information about how to do any of this. Additionally, nutritional needs can vary greatly from person to person. I’ve had many people ask me about weight loss and “getting lean” and I always try to give the most honest answer. The answer will also typically include the words, “It depends…”.

Over the last year or so more and more athletes have been seen indulging in donuts, pizza, and even beer. WAIT! I thought they only ate salads and steamed chicken!? Talk about confusing. The tides are changing and while a few years ago everyone was on the Paleo wagon, there is more and more evidence that performance athletes might needs more than meat, veggies, and healthy fats. There are two key words in the last few sentences: indulging and performance. 

So while Mat Fraser and Brooke Ence eat their pasta and donuts and Ben & Jerry’s, keep in mind the amount of work and energy output they have endured. Literally hours per day of training and movement. This means that they have earned the right to occasionally indulge in these foods and actually might need to eat these to get the amount of calories required the perform at such a high level. Additionally, their goal is performance which doesn’t necessarily translate to healthy! Junky food actually puts more stress on your body. This is why treats need to be occasional. Most of us cannot get away with eating treats all the time while still looking and feeling they way we want to.

Unless you are performing at a level similar to or near Mat or Brooke I suggest you go easy on the donuts, pasta, and Ben & Jerry’s and opt for the grilled chicken, sauteed broccoli and a sweet potato. If you are going to a CrossFit class three days per week but doing nothing else for activity outside of that and you want to lose weight, your nutrition must be on point. That means an occasional treat or small indulgence. I am a huge fan of this rule: Be active on most days each week. This means 4+, ideally 5 or 6 days. This doesn’t mean you have to go to CrossFit everyday. This means adding more activity to your daily life. A walk a lunch time instead of scrolling Facebook, a snow shoe hike, a day or half-day of skiing, ice skating, a dance party with your kids or a yoga class. Another way to get more activity is to arrive at the gym 30 minutes early for an extended warm up on the bike or rower.

If you’re consistently logging activity on most days of the week, you might be able to handle an indulgence each week. As in a cookie, beer, or glass of wine (or 2). If you’re working out more than this or are training for an athletic event or competition, your diet has to supply your body with all the nutrition and energy it needs to perform the best it can.  So if you’re training for 90 minutes to 2 hours or more each day it’s a good bet that you can have a donut or pizza now and then if you so choose.

HOWEVER…this all hinges on what your body can tolerate. It sometimes takes some experimentation and elimination to figure out what works for you! If you are lactose intolerant or have a gluten sensitivity, or if you have an autoimmune condition (celiac, Hashimotos, rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, etc) there are probably foods that you must avoid in order to feel and function at your best, including donuts, pasta, and pizza and more. If you have special concerns your diet might need to be tailored to fit those concerns. Also, if you have a significant amount of weight to lose and that’s your goal, as I stated above, your nutrition must be on point most of the time (consistency!) – good quality protein, lots of veggies, some fruit, good starchy veggies like sweet potatoes, potatoes, butternut squash, and carrots.

If you’re not sure where you fit in, talk with one of your coaches or email me! I’d be happy to hep guide you in the right direction.

Quitting Coffee and Finding Balance

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I am on Day 6 of NO COFFEE and NO CAFFEINE! I am pretty proud of myself. I am most surprised by how freeing it is. I no longer need to worry about where my coffee will come from when I travel or go camping. I know that I can survive without it. Yesterday (Day 5) was the most trying. I actually found myself craving the coffee, the flavor, the warmth, the buzz. Yesterday was the perfect chilly November day and with no coffee it wasn’t quite right. I knew that I could expect more of the same from today, so I was more prepared. I planned for a yummy snack (homemade gluten free banana muffin) and tea in the afternoon, about the time I would start to crave coffee. It wasn’t the same, but it got my mind off of it. I’ve also been trying to drink tons of water which helps.

Beautiful almond milk latte.

Beautiful almond milk latte.

It hasn’t all been negative. Like I said, I feel freed from the grips of the caffeine fix. My sleep has been a lot better – sounder – and my sinuses feel clearer. My goal is to be coffee/caffeine free for at least 3 whole weeks. I’d like to take it longer, maybe 1-3 months. I also think that when I go back to drinking coffee it might be a weekend thing and I might try to invest in some high quality grinds. We’ll see…

I have also been having a bit of a revelation when it comes to my goals as an athlete. I’ve been into CrossFit for over 5 years now. After discovering CF in 2008 and attempting to piece WODs together using the “hopper method” I thought it was the best thing since sliced bread. My goal was to look like Miranda Oldroyd and make it to a higher level of competition.  A lot has changed between then and now; it’s been an evolution over the course of 5+ years. After putting the pedal to the metal last fall and winter in hopes of finishing better overall in the 2015 Open I succeeded in that goal. However, to chase goals there is usually sacrifice involved. I did not have as much time to work with people on their nutrition or run special programs like the Body Transformation Project. I also felt limited socially and felt guilty going out to have a few drinks or staying up too late. Nights before training were off limits as far as social engagements. I enjoyed training that intensely and I was very focused during that time, but after the Open, there wasn’t enough drive to keep me going.

Some people live and breathe for performance and competition. It’s amazing to see the drive and athleticism and the talent these people possess. I realize that I just don’t really want that for myself. It only took 6 months for me to feel like effects of training at a high level. I ended up burnt out. My wrist injury over the summer kind of sealed the deal for me. Despite having a relaxed summer of training and my nagging wrist and shoulder I decided to register for a competition in December. I registered because it was tradition. For the last 3 years we’ve traveled up to Vermont for a day of awesome competition and fun with friends and fellow athletes. We go out for a big meal after and get to spend a weekend away.

I recently pulled myself out of that competition which was a difficult choice. I felt guilty for not upholding my commitment to myself and my training plans. After the guilt wore off I felt like a weight was lifted and a bunch of pressure released. I’m not saying that I don’t want to push myself and be the best that I can be, I’m saying that I just need to be more realistic and shift my focus to where it needs to be right now; my work, my clients, the programs I lead – those are the things that need my full attention.

It boils down to the concept of “you can’t do it all”. That’s life. To me, it’s one step closer to balance. Letting go of things you aren’t (i.e. at this moment in time I’m not a competitor) is freeing and it clears space for more positive and productive thoughts in your mind. Rather than feeling guilty about unrealistic expectations you set in your mind, you can focus on what’s really going on. I am excited to have more time to focus on my health – my real health – eating more veggies, getting more sleep, fixing my allergies and sinuses, organizing my obligations so I am less stressed. I am excited to train when I schedule it, but it won’t be the end of the world if something comes up and I have to put it off until tomorrow. #reallife

Have you ever experienced a turning point in your career or with your life goals? Post your thoughts in the comments here or on Facebook. I’d love to read about your experiences and advice.

Goal Updates and Injuries

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My last post was about my goal to get outside in nature this summer. So far I’ve been doing well with that goal. We have already gone camping once this season and it was awesome. It was extremely relaxing and after only a couple days in the woods I felt like I had been on vacation. I was completely unplugged from the phone and computer which was the best part.

Our site at Covered Bridge Campground. So peaceful.

Our site at Covered Bridge Campground. So peaceful.

My in-the-gym training has not been going so well, however. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how desire for training goes through peaks and valleys. For me it’s very motivating to have some kind of event to train for. Last fall it was training to prepare for the Winter Throwdown at Champlain Valley in December. Although I didn’t do well at that competition, I became a much better CrossFitter while completing my training leading up to it. My focus was on fixing some issue and building more strength, particularly in my upper body pushing and pulling.

Then we transitioned to training for the CrossFit Open and I continued to progress. I drastically improved my ranking compared to last year. I finished in the top 700 of the North East Region this year; I finally got my muscle ups; I worked on my Olympic lifts consistently; and I got stronger mentally.

When the Open was over, I took a week off from training and going hard. Getting back into it after that week was tough, like the week after you get back to reality from vacation. I’d been strict with my eating leading up to the Open so I could stay lean and feel my best. I loosened up the reigns with that a little bit with that too. I try not to let myself stress about food anymore – maybe you noticed the Coronas in the photo above! After all, it’s just food. It doesn’t control me and it’s one of life’s necessities.

So after lots of hard training through the winter and push through many aches and pains, my wrist tendonitis has finally come to a tipping point. A few weeks ago I pushed it beyond its limits. If wrists could talk it would have told me, “Please, no more.” I listened. I got three different opinions: an MD, a Chiropractor, and a Massage Therapist. Combining all three opinions I have developed a plan for resting, healing, and rehabilitating my wrist. Oye!

arm cast 2015

The wrist splint I wear when I sleep.

 

It’s a huge bummer, but it’s also a wake up call that I truly needed. It’s something you read and hear all the time, “Keep your body maintained”, “Do your mobility”, “Have body work done”, “Make modifications if something’s bothering you”… but sometimes we just don’t listen. I didn’t listen. I just kept pushing it and pushing it.

It will take a little while for me to be back in action, but I will get there. For now I am just trying to accept it for what it is and enjoy what I can do. Lots of squats, running, sled dragging, and hiking are in my summer training plans. I am focusing on the positives of slowing down a little bit, but don’t get me wrong, it’s super-tough and I often feel the itch to pick up a barbell. All in due time I suppose!

chocura 2015

Representing OPEX at the summit of Mt. Chocura

The 2015 Open

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My goals for the 2015 CrossFit Open were to 1) Finish in the top 1,000 in the North East Region and 2) feel more confident in my abilities as an athlete. Back in October I asked Kyle for a better plan for my training. Until then I was jumping in with class 4-5 times each week. I was fit, but I knew I wasn’t spending as much time on weaknesses as I needed to. So he started writing my programming. In 2014 I finished somewhere in the 1400s in the Region and I wanted to improve that position. I knew that muscle ups would hold me back in a huge way if I couldn’t get any this year. Tackled that goal and got my first one back in December, and was able to get 11 in 15.3, but it’s definitely still a work in progress. I really wanted to have fun, work the hardest I could, and know that my training made me better. I finished around 600ish. Mission accomplished.

15.1 AMRAP 9 – 15TTB/10DL/5SN
This was a fun workout. I actually enjoyed doing it. I have been training toes-to-bar and power snatches for the last 3 months so this was wheel house stuff. The barbell was super light for me which was an advantage. I was able to get through 3 rounds of toes to bar in sets of 5. After that they were pretty sporadic since my abs and grip were fatigued. I tried to keep moving on this. I found myself taking too many breaths during the transitions to the barbell. I tried to hustle it up at the end. I finished my 5th found right on the 9 minute mark. Final score: 150 reps

15.1a 1RM C&J
Bending over to change out plates was super hard because my abs were cramping up. I stood up and took my time. My opening lift was 135 which I hit easily. I squat cleaned it but should have just power cleaned it. My next lift was 145 – power clean, easy jerk. My plan was to go to 155 but I made the decision to try 160. I power cleaned 160 no problem, but then missed the jerk behind me. I wasn’t confident. I went back down to 155 and made the lift. Final score: 155lbs

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15.2 C2B/OHS
Angry and bummed. From the moment this workout was announced I was intimidated. I have never been great at chest to bar pull ups. In fact a couple months ago was the first time I had ever been able to string them together using a prone grip. Last year my score was 78 reps. I was confident that I could beat that score, and the thought of getting into the 6:00-9:00 round had me excited. My score this time was 87 reps, one shy of getting to where I wanted to be. I made a mistake counting on my first set of 12 overhead squats and ended up doing an extra rep. I got off track mentally after that which is ultimately what caused me to miss that last rep. It’s a hard thing to swallow. I guess these are the times you consider doing a workout over. Not sure if I will have enough time to recover by Monday, or if it’s even worth it.

I ended up repeating the workout on Monday afternoon. I finished the second round with :30 seconds to spare. I ended up a score of 132 which was what I was expecting. Holy forearms! I am really glad I repeated this workout.

15.3 MU/WB/DU
This is where I thought the Open was over for me. Having only done strict muscle ups successfully and sporadically, I set my sights on 14 minutes of muscle up attempts. When Friday afternoon rolled around I figured I’d give it a try. I surprisingly was able to kip all of my muscle ups and made it 4 reps into the second round. This was one of the most awesome accomplishments of my CrossFit career. I’ve only done muscle ups like that in my dreams – not even kidding.  My score was 161 reps. Pumped.

15.4 HSPU/CLEAN
I had mixed feelings about this workout. Handstand Push Ups are not one of my strongest movements, but I am good at cleans and 125# is fairly light for me. The HSPU standard was fine with me, but I made the mistake of using just a yoga mat under my hands and head. I should have used plates and an abmat because I wasn’t able to move as quickly through my reps and I think my shoulders fatigued a little sooner than they would have otherwise. Not making excuses, just observing what I could have done differently and possibly had a better outcome. I got 33 reps. I considered re-doing the workout, but didn’t feel like I would have gotten a ton more reps, so I didn’t. Currently 573 in the North East region.

15.5 ROW/THRUSTER
I was psyched when this workout was announced. I’m a decent rower and thrusters are a what I would consider a wheel house movement. I finished in 11:35. I wast thinking I would be somewhere between 10 and 11 minutes. I did the workout on Friday. Honestly, I was ready for the Open to be over. Feeling tired and sick of being anxious about the workouts every week. I might have done better if I waited a day or two. I would have been better rested and recovered. My whole left back side ended up cramping up pretty bad which definitely added some time. I tired to keep a decent pace, despite the cramping.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2015 Goal Round Up

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Goals (life, performance, professional):
– Clean 185lbs
– Continue to improve upper body pulling/pushing (strict PU/C2B/MU)
– Improve conditioning (burpee, bike, run, MAP, etc)
– Continue building mental strength for training/competition by thinking positively
– Continually seek knowledge and share that knowledge with others
– Take more opportunities to get outside in nature

mind

The Head Game

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I’ve been scared of snatching lately. It was always a lift that I loved to do, even not being that great at it. After my training had taken me in a different direction for a while, I recently returned to Olympic Weightlifting. After recording many many reps on video an analyzing the crap out of my lifts, I have been attempting to fix some technical issues.

Warming up is very important

Warming up is very important.

But I am still terrified of this movement. Afraid to pull myself under a heavy barbell.

Until yesterday. It was the first good day I have had snatching in about 2 months. For 2 months I’ve been about 10 pounds under my personal best. Pretty frustrating. After my successful lifts yesterday, and matching my personal best easily, I thought about my mindset surrounding these training sessions. I was definitely beginning to harbor a negative attitude around snatching because I was feeling so shitty about it. I was genuinely beginning to doubt my abilities. I regularly carry a good amount of self doubt which is something I am fighting to not carry, but I was on the verge of giving up on the snatch completely.

I took my time yesterday. I prepared my body with a great warm up and turned up some music that I was really into. It calmed my mindset. Even when I missed reps, I actually thought through why I’d missed them instead of just getting frustrated and quitting. The thoughts in my head were mainly positive instead of negative. It felt really good. It actually made my afternoon much more enjoyable.

Letting the negativity seep into my head-space creates an atmosphere where I cannot thrive as an athlete. We all have crappy training days. Days when we don’t feel great, or feel tired, or what we have in our notebooks is boring. Learning to accept all of that, get over it, and spin it positively helps tremendously. I got a small dose of that reality yesterday and I am going to try to build upon it.

Good Enough

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I am struggling with this one today. How do we get ourselves to believe that we are good enough? When the times get tough, how do remain “in the game” mentally, believing that we have what it takes to be great?

“Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they’re yours.”   – Richard Bach

These were my favorite shoes of all time.

These were my favorite shoes of all time.