I don’t really follow too many TV shows regularly. I mostly watch NH Chronicle and HGTV. Nerd alert. But there is ONE show that I have watched since it premiered when I was a freshman at Plymouth State in 2004. Grey’s Anatomy. I own almost every season on DVD, I sometimes catch myself watching re-runs on Lifetime TV, I have sacrificed sleep to watch, and I have looked forward to Sunday and then Thursday nights for over 10 years.

This television show has literally helped me through some of the toughest times of my life. I know it seems kind of ridiculous, but I think that sometimes acting, subject matter, and music bring out emotions that we need to feel. I am really really good at keeping my emotions inside me, but over the years these characters sometimes helped me to feel when I needed to feel.

There have been many deaths on Grey’s. Denny, Izzy, George, Lexi, Mark. There have been near deaths; the drowning, the gun shot, the plane crash, the electrocution. But none of this compares to last night’s episode: The Death of Derek Shepherd. If you haven’t seen it and you’re a fan, I apologize for ruining it. If you’ve been on Facebook or Twitter I’m sure you already heard the news though. Derek is dead. And I was completely unprepared for that. 

With a long week under my belt by Thursday night, I felt the sadness wash over me and cried as I watched the episode unfold. I couldn’t hold back the tears. They just flowed. It felt really good.

This loss certainly feels like the end of en era. I have to say, Ellen Pompeo’s performance was mesmerizing and I truly enjoyed watching her act, as hard as it was. I am preparing myself to watch the episode again to enjoy all the good parts.

As much as I am not a fan of excessive television watching, a little goes a long way in helping me to relax, escape, and be entertained. After 11 seasons of watching Grey’s the characters feel more like friends. We’ve learned about their lives and they have helped us to learn about our own. I will sincerely miss the interactions of Meredith and Derek, the true love they had for each other, and I will be sad to see how their family and friends will suffer this loss. I know it’s only TV, but it feels deeper.

Hug your loved ones. Be thankful you have them. Be with those who bring out the best in you. Say yes. Live every chance you can.